, ,

I loved you from the day I first laid eyes on you. You were my deepest joy. I have tried to hang on to you over the years so much that it was very painful. I can’t hold on to you any longer. Since the day so long ago that you were gone I have longed to keep you in my life. That is not where you belong and I know that now. I must let you go and let the love fade away once and for all. I know relatives are not necessarily meant to be in each others lives and that for some there is no bond. I will do my best to not let the love I hold for you keep me in misery or destroy me. I will do my best to let that go as well. I know the only reason for us to never see each other again is because we have nothing in common and you don’t share the love I feel for you. Because my feelings for you stem from a one sided familial bond I will peacefully let you go. I hope that you find happiness in your life. I hope that some day you find the love of family and can love in return. I have heard it said that a mother can not lose the love for her child but I have seen that is not true for some. I have been told that the bond between mother and child is genetic in nature. I will mourn my loss and grow past this time in my life.

Childless Mother

written by T.K. Houston

In my arms they laid him down

He was so precious it was impossible to frown

Looking at him felt so complete

I knew it was time for him to eat.

My heart overwhelmed with love for my child

I had to gaze at him for a while

A good mother I was, or so I believed

I thought I would be since he was conceived

Just one thing; I couldn’t provide

I had no funds to ensure he thrived

With me, would he survive?

He was taken from me when he was so young

my heart was shattered

I cried ’til I was numb

Everyday I screamed and cried

My broken heart I could not hide

I am pleased to see he grew up fine

He didn’t need me, but he was meant to be mine

I missed him so much over the years

All I have left are my tears